The ephemeral pleasure of bulimia. 

image: pinterest
You make me love me by comforting me when no one’s there. You obligate me to be happy by throwing up the shit inside me. You care about me. You are always there for me when I need you the most. When I feel sad and ugly and fat. You even save me from food poisoning. You protect me. When nobody else understands, you get me.

But oh, you’re so confusing too. You also make me hate you. When blood comes up my throat and you hurt me by obligating me to keep on throwing up. When I want to stop sometimes but you say its not enough. I hate how you make me stink later. I hate how you make me feel guilty. I hate your aftertaste. I hate you. 

I love how you make me feel alive but I hate how you are slowly killing me. I love you but I hate you too.
©Claudia Hernández

Instagram: claudiaher98

Facebook: writingclaud


31 thoughts on “The ephemeral pleasure of bulimia. 

  1. I watched something the other night about Karen Carpenters’ battle with bulimia and anorexia nervosa. I didn’t realize that she was my height, nor did I realize that in the beginning of their career, she weighed 145 pounds. She went down to the 70s at one point before she started trying to recover.
    I know I look like a skeleton and I quickly did my BMI chart. I thought I had done pretty good by gaining a few pounds. The information told me to NOT lose any more weight.
    I’m not anorexic nor have I ever been. I’ve never been bulimic. I just lost my appetite one day and have never been able to get it back.
    I hope this is not autobiographical and like RolenaEtnest said….it is powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and for letting me know you a little more, Laurel. It is fortunately not autobiographical but unfortunately it is something that happens to a few people I know which is the reason I decided to write about it. Hugs🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s heartbreaking, isn’t it? I knew a little girl who almost died from anorexia. She recovered but only after her parents exhausted almost their entire savings.
        I worry about myself. As a former medic, I know what happens to your body when you have no fat to burn.
        I guess I’ll see what happens.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a powerful and heartfelt prose poem.

    I can tell you wrote this from a personal observation point of view and also, the majority of people that suffer with bulimia is sad and makes me cry. As humans – we need to help those around us, hold them and hug them. Tell them everything is going to be okay.

    P.S Thank you for liking my recent poem. Curious: how did you come across my poem?
    Also, I’m currently now following your page. If you have time on your end, feel free to check out my Bio or my poetry. If you like what you read cool. 🙂

    Hope to hear from you soon.

    ~Charlie Zero the Poet

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!!! You’re right, people with eating disorders deserve our support to be able to stay strong and change what they are going through.
      It is my pleasure. I like to explore new blogs when I have spare time. I will definitely check yours out😊

      Liked by 1 person

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