When you expect more from yourself…

Self-love seems so easy. Just accept who you are and love yourself. That is what everyone says. As if everybody was trying to convince themselves that having insecurities is a sin. 

Judgments and criticism fill up our souls. It seems like no matter how much you try to accept yourself, one slight critic will push you down the stairs. 

However, I promised I will never listen. I promised myself that I will just be me, including my insecurities. I promised that I will create my own world where no one could take over my love and sometimes hate relationship I have with myself. 

I decided to never stop. To keep on running carefully on the stairs to avoid falling down and breaking my neck, legs, or head. I decided to hug myself every time someone tried to push me down. I decided to always be there for myself. First place: me, second place: me, third place: me. 

Loving myself was going to be my ultimate goal in life. Loving every aspect of my body and cherishing my goofy personality was going to give me the energy to keep on going. Loving my love for myself was going to make my self-love grow every single day for the rest of my life. 

But I never expected to fall so abruptly. I never expected to break not only my head, legs and neck but my heart too. 

I stopped loving me. Not because of them but because of me. I didn’t try hard enough. 

My effort to keep my promises was equal to none. 

My willingness to make my decisions happen was never even there. 

My love for myself was inexistent…
I let my insecurities become my enemies and allowed my soul to be scattered by the hate of the judgments and criticism that I gave and keep giving myself. 

©Claudia Hernández

Instagram: claudiaher98

Facebook: writingclaud


38 thoughts on “When you expect more from yourself…

  1. Excellent post. Glad I read it.

    Especially love this part: ” I decided to always be there for myself. First place: me, second place: me, third place: me. Loving myself was going to be my ultimate goal in life.”
    Start again. Keep going. We all fall and fail. But there’s no such thing as failing ☺ Start again. And again. And again. Keep telling myself that ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like what you say. Loving self is the biggest challenge of my life. Sometimes I do well, other times it sucks. But, I get back up like you’re doing and keep on going. All scriptures tell us that life on earth is not easy, it’s not the destination but the journey itself that matters.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can relate to this post so much. I’ve been told that I’m not exactly a perfectionist but I can be very hard on myself if I don’t meet my own expectations. I’ve dealt with bullying and criticism from other people but I think the most difficult critic to handle is yourself ❤ xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. you write with such passion it overflows into my world, i understand what you mean and hope one day you will recapture that love that left abruptly but will return much more sweetly…i hope for you sweet one!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. you know i remind myself of self love too and tell me myself to care for me first but there comes times when you break like you said but you its not that you did not worked hard its that after falling you should get up on your own that is the secret of success we all try hard who do not but when we fail once we leave it and accept it as it but if you want something deeply so fall and get up just as once a man asked the man with stick why can walk when you fall again and again he said i am not scared of falling cause my love for walking is more then that of falling

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am so impressed by your ability to acknowledge that “I stopped loving me. Not because of them but because of me.” Such a fearless, penetrating, honest observation. Maybe those are three qualities you can lovd about yourself? I am sure there are more, but those three stand out, to me, in this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What a nice piece… it’s really important to love yourself first coz how do you give away something you don’t have within? How do you believe someone who tells you “I love you.” when you know that they have no love for themselves?

    The problem nowadays, especially for women is that the media poisons our minds and bombards us with lies that we become deluded. It affects our self-esteem so bad that it destroys our relationships and we end up in dysfunctional marriages and families. How do we fix this? We’re in too deep. But we can be the change… we can start from within… now is the time… life is short…

    Carpe diem!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Hi Claudia, I love that you say insecurities are not a sin. I can deny mine but my denial is never strong enough to erase even one. My love for myself can never become absolute but it can get deeper.

    Me encanta tu manera de expresarte, tanto en ingles como español!

    Liked by 1 person

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