Self-love seems so easy. Just accept who you are and love yourself. That is what everyone says. As if everybody was trying to convince themselves that having insecurities is a sin.
Judgments and criticism fill up our souls. It seems like no matter how much you try to accept yourself, one slight critic will push you down the stairs.
However, I promised I will never listen. I promised myself that I will just be me, including my insecurities. I promised that I will create my own world where no one could take over my love and sometimes hate relationship I have with myself.
I decided to never stop. To keep on running carefully on the stairs to avoid falling down and breaking my neck, legs, or head. I decided to hug myself every time someone tried to push me down. I decided to always be there for myself. First place: me, second place: me, third place: me.
Loving myself was going to be my ultimate goal in life. Loving every aspect of my body and cherishing my goofy personality was going to give me the energy to keep on going. Loving my love for myself was going to make my self-love grow every single day for the rest of my life.
But I never expected to fall so abruptly. I never expected to break not only my head, legs and neck but my heart too.
I stopped loving me. Not because of them but because of me. I didn’t try hard enough.
My effort to keep my promises was equal to none.
My willingness to make my decisions happen was never even there.
My love for myself was inexistent…
I let my insecurities become my enemies and allowed my soul to be scattered by the hate of the judgments and criticism that I gave and keep giving myself.