Choosing a manipulative boyfriend.

Yes, I’ve changed. You do that to people.

My blind past-self, used to be a happy girl that lived in her own little world full of your “honest” love.

Every time you shouted at me or suddenly snapped me out of my happy world, you will call me all night, spoil me with gifts and even dedicate me love songs that were cheesier that you will ever be.

You made me believe that we were meant to be – that we were something special. I believed every single word you said. Not only the “i love you’s” but the ” i care about you’s” too. I ended up forgiving you. Every. Single. Time. For the last year and a half.

When you were in a good mood we will actually have fun. At least you seemed to have fun, and the fact that you were smiling made me smile too, because it showed me I was not doing anything wrong for you to get angry at me, for once. (If I only knew that for you I will never do good enough)

I was so in love with you.

 
As the time past, I got used to your “bad days”, I even convinced myself that the “good days” out weighted the bad ones.

We made so many memories together, however I never imagined that you and I will become one…

 
When you ended our relationship I was wrecked, because of your manipulative shit. You blamed me for not being good enough for you and for bringing whining and boredom to your life.

Now I notice how fucking messed up I am because of you. You changed me. But not into a better person like love supposedly makes us become. You converted me into a fucking hurt and angry and anxious and unloveable girl who can’t even start to understand why would I ever cry and beg to stay with an asshole like you.

I am not surprised though, because it seems as if I always decide to choose what will destroy me. This time, I chose you.

©Claudia Hernández

Instagram: claudiaher98

Facebook: writingclaud

Instagram (blog): writingclaud

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43 thoughts on “Choosing a manipulative boyfriend.

  1. I feel you, really. It hurts and everything seems like a lie. It’s difficult to see anything good at this time and possibly nothing I say will help… for now, I’m glad for you that he’s gone. Try to eliminate the suffering one day at a time, one minute at a time… Take care of yourself and perhaps do what you couldn’t or wouldn’t when he was around… Keep going…one step at a time…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi!!! Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Fortunately, I wrote this from the perspective of how will feel a woman in this situation because I haven’t gone through this. But I agree with your advice for people that have gone through this experience. 😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. So sad. Worldwide, men are learning from social media, from movies, from TV how to treat women as commodities, as objects of self-gratification. Once upon a time learning how to treat others was taken from faith, religion, spirituality. Very sad for young women like yourself. Please don’t accept it. Your creator loves you too much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You made bad decisions but now you can choose to make good ones and have a better life😊 I hope everything works out great for you. (Ps. Thank you but I wrote this to stand up for those women who suffer from this, I haven’t had this experience thankfully).

      Like

  3. The part where you wrote that he and her became a memory and the last part about choosing, hit me so hard. This is beautifully written, I loved it!!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow, Claudia, that was something else. I cried with you and for you. I only pray that you’ll become a better and stronger person because of that, and not the other way around. I hope that you find someone that will do good by you and make you truly happy 💙

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for you kind words Lise! But don’t worry, this is not my experience. I wrote it with the wish to somehow stand up for those women who are experiencing or have experienced this type of relationship. Hugs☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for sharing. This happened to me. Unfortunately I wasn’t the first woman he did this to and sadly I’m not the last. I’m a strong intelligent woman. I never thought this would happen to me but it did. It’s been a year since I left him. What a year it’s been. I have blogged my story in the hopes this man will never do what he did to me to another woman again. Thankfully I know of two women who read my blog and dumped that crazy lunatic and saved themselves the pain and suffering I endured. I’m on the mend and I hope those who have experienced this in their life are too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m sorry you had to go through this. But you are very right and I am happy you said it yourself because you really are strong. Plus, the fact that you are writing about it with the intention to help other women going through this, shows how good of a person you are. It is time that more people start talking about this to stop manipulative men from causing more damage to innocent women who deserve to be loved, not broken.
      Thank you for reading and stay strong Velma:)

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks Claudia. I am training w the John Maxwell group to become a leadership/sales trainer but more importantly a speaker, mentor and life coach. I’d like to share my story and help women all over the world. This could happen to anyone. These men are trained manipulator sand predators. Meet my ex. He was a real peach. The good news is I’m still standing. This blog has been seen in 29 countries. I pray it stops this crazy nut from doing what he did to me to other women ever again.

        Ron Rodriguez – SF Retired Firefighter 5-10-15 | fiercefabulousfunny
        https://fiercefabulousfunny.com/2015/09/27/ronald-a-rodriguez-retired-firefighter-5-10-15/

        Liked by 2 people

  6. Ah, how sweet the jaws of hell to comfort us when life is pellmell. To twist us, to shake us, and tear us down. Oh, how sweet the jaws of hell when don Sata saunters in to gaze in our well. To bring his minions and tear at every cell, trying to break the jail I live in. The one that not only keeps me in. But that keeps THEM out!! And so they pound night after night as through jail cells I wander through the night. Jail cells and hospitals and drugs my plight.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. My all due respects for you, you write as if you were living this.

    I identify myself in some aspects of your post, not all, thanks God, but you make me hesitate and decide either he changes making me feeling inadequate, or he goes away.

    Thank you, my best for you

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for your words, as a matter of fact, he is the best in many respects, but… sometimes says things that make me feel that I am wrong, eventually he is right, but not always, I’m going to have a serious discussion with him about this.

        Thank you for your comment

        Like

  8. This is simply amazing…. I however happen to know this guy who ended up with a manipulative girlfriend… What is sad is that, so many ppl who r in love r not together and those who r together… R not in love…. 😯😕💔

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is true that there are also manipulative women which is very sad & people who love each other but can’t be together. I guess that’s life and there is unfortunately no explanation that can be given to understand why this happens😕

      Liked by 1 person

  9. No, Claudia… you chose, You 🙂 … You are a strong woman…
    you saw the real person that he was and that wasn’t who you wanted to be with. You go, girl!
    You didn’t choose to be with a manipulative boyfriend… you didn’t know.
    But when he showed the real person without the mask you knew he was not The One.
    Forgive… Forget… Learn… Move on…

    I like your posts… I’ll give you a “follow”… I hope you’ll drop by my blog often. too. 🙂

    Carpe diem!

    LIVE ❤ LAUGH … BELLE PAPILLON

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You’re right. Love is supposed to make us better. To truly love a woman is to make her happy, and secure, and feel beautiful. A man who lowers your self-worth is not a man to waste any time on. You seem like a strong woman; I’m rooting for you!

    Liked by 1 person

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